June 7, 2013
When you run into an ex for the first time following a break-up, you want it to be perfect.
You want to be prepared.
You want to rub your awesome bachelorette-hood and exciting new life all up in their unappreciative face.
What you don’t want to do is run into your ex for the first time immediately following a torrential downpour and an epic mountain biking crash that leaves you and your shiny spandex covered from head to toe in mud and shame…
When it comes to encounters of the ex-factor—all bets are off.
Whether your life together was brief, or some serious “’til death do us part” vows were broken, seeing your former significant other for the first time since the split is never fun—which is why I completely condone temporarily blowing off every societal idea of what it means to be a “grown-up”.
If you stumble upon your ex for the first time in a grocery store, it’s totally appropriate to abandon your grocery cart or basket, mid-trip, especially if it’s filled with pints of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. Abort operation “need frozen dinners and a 24-pack of toilet paper” and head for the exit.
If the first time you come face to face with your ex is in an establishment that serves adult beverages—weigh your options. How badly do you need that drink? Last time I saw my ex, I was at a brewery a good 10-15 minutes away from good beer-civilization. After considering all of my options, I decided that I needed that drink real bad, and casually strolled to an open seat farthest from the man that recently tossed my heart in a meat grinder. Unfortunately, that seat happened to be right outside of the only men’s restroom in the building. Rookie mistake. If you decide to take your chances at co-existing in the same place with your ex for a prolonged period of time, make sure you steer clear of the little boys’ or girls’ room.
If it’s a good day, you curled your hair and shaved your legs that morning, and you feel on top of your game—say “hello”. But, make it brief. Remember—you don’t owe your ex anything, and if you accidentally fling a bunch of mud in his direction once you finally get your bike upright and wipe the mud off of your sunglasses, that’s okay, too.
Mending a broken heart is far more important than acting your age